by Anita Schnee, Attorney at Law
It might be a tough decision, to pick which of two children should be your power of attorney for when you need help paying your bills and talking to doctors. You might be tempted to name both. Please don’t. You risk creating conflict or chaos, if you name more than one child to serve at the same time. Instead, pick one child at a time.
Think about which child is better suited to the responsibilities. For health-care decision-making, your agent should ideally be calm in stressful situations and be able to advocate courteously but firmly with doctors and nurses for the treatment you want. For financial management, your agent should be organized, careful, and good with numbers.
Your health-care agent should live nearby, but if the child who lives locally is terrified of things like needles and blood, the other, sturdier child might be a better choice. On the other hand, finances can be managed from afar, but if that child can’t cope with a checkbook, the other one would be better. So if one child is good in one area and the other child is good in the other, the dilemma is solved. You can name the number-proficient daughter for the financial side and your son for the health-care. Or, if just one child is altogether more capable than the other, name that one child for both health-care and financial powers.
But you do not want to create a situation where children who share the job start arguing about what health care you would want. Busy physicians have little time or patience to mediate fights like that. Likewise, you do not want your children quarreling about how you would want your money to be spent.
That’s why it’s best to give one child decision-making authority at a time. You can name the other as a back-up in case the first child becomes unavailable.
